Saturday, October 22, 2005

Rainbow in the Dark-Dio

This is a joke. This can't be Dio. The Dio I always assumed to be DIO (from t-shirts and what not) was the ultimate in total deviltry and beastliness, I mean, t-shirt-wise was up there with Slayer. This had to be totally heavy. None could be heavier. The man who replaced Ozzy in Sabbath had to be a TOTAL badass. He would probably have huge horns coming out of his head, artfully concealed under a rad hood, only to be thrown back with exploding pyrotechnics, slaughter of animal offerings and hordes of supplicant, lamenting hot babes.

"Rainbow in the Dark" tells me I was played by some t-shirt marketing geniuses. Oh, Lord, was I mistaken. None of the above is remotely suggested by this song. Instead, Meat Loaf with a unicorn figurine collection is conjured vision. Is that so lame, it is actually bad ass???

UPDATE: I just say "Only a Mystery" by Dio on VH1 Classic. My fears above were not fearful enough. -20 hit points, dude.