Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Prophecies of the Great Apocalypse-Dimmu Borgir

OK, I admit that photo's kind of creepy


While recording with a symphony orchestra is the ultimate in Spinal Crapitude, it does not make a "Black Metal" band's music sound heavier, in fact adding orchestration that sounds like incidental music from A Very Harry Potter Christmas diminishes any and all chances of heaviness. For example "Progenies of the Great Apocalypse" from Norway's Dimmu Borgir's Death Cult Armageddon sounds like John Williams and Danny Elfman getting together to cash in one last time to buy the world's largest pile of cocaine. And their route to Mt. Snowplow is to stroke the ego of a psychotic, Bach-loving, dungeons and dragons enthusiast with the idea of enslaving dumbed-down Dream Theatre metal goo, the cheesewad harmonies of System of a Down, minus the politics, and some paint-by-numbers scary sounding lyrics. Robert Plant singing about his nutsack is a million times heavier. We urge you to listen to this tune here. The band kindly provides a streaming sample of this, might as well crank it up work, if you are seeking new employment.